Shimjockey

I hope the rest of the world is not as obsessed with choices like we are here in America.

I’m sure on a whole, they’re not when you consider the conditions of poverty and food shortages in so many parts of the world. It’s all the more guilt laden one feels walking through a typical grocery store.

Jees, what in the world is happening to us? I’m talking into my recorder as I walked the grocery store this week and did  double takes on so many of the areas where my list led me.  Do we become privileged and spoiled once we enter a modern grocery store? The abundance is down right embarrassing! Don’t get me wrong, I like choice as much as the next person, but some of this borders on super-indulgence, doesn’t it? Well, we only have so much time and soo much to take a look at, so let’s get started. Hmm, faced with a choice right off the bat, is it small cart, basket or biggum cart? I usually go small, it’s subliminal by them to give us the idea we’re downsizing and buying a little less, but once past the checkout stand and even when approaching it, we know, uh huh, uh huh, we should have just used the big one, quit fooling ourselves. I like to start in the produce section, very little there that needs refrigeration, so let’s take a  look. MY God, I think we’re somehow in the Garden of Eden. Screw the list, this is going to be fun! I do have to ask myself though, do I really need this many decisions facing me every foot of the way? This could take a good hour to shop, is that what they’re hoping for too? I like apples, but don’t need 7 or more varieties. I’m looking over this area and it’s beautiful, but there are fruits from places in the world I have never even heard of. Focus man, Focus on what you need! This brings up a major question in my mind, this orgasm, I mean organic fetish that is going on, Why do I feel like our non-organic produce is so bad. If it’s not good for us, then why is a good 90% of this section of the store selling it? What is in or not in the non stuff that the other has, and then I wonder if it’s just dribble, another way to get us to spend more. Someone knows! Well, I got to get what I needed and have to keep moving. Rounding the corner is the milk area against the wall, Oh no, another organic funk is coming, some of the milk is either that or not, and the price for organic in either glass or cardboard cartons  is $3 bucks for a 1/2 gal or 2 bucks for a gallon of the non. C’mon $6 bucks a gallon for milk, no way?

Eggs, same gig, a crazy egg of all things. this can’t be. I’m gonna close my eyes and just grab a dozen and hope for the best come breakfast time. Chips and cookies and crackers, wow nothing but a bunch of different kinds, shapes and sizes, too much for me. I can pass this aisle easily.

I will go get me some toothpaste and shampoo and then onto the other needed stuff on my list. Hmm again, can teeth need all of this attention? I just want to get the goobers out of them after eating, don’t think that much about  sparkles or tar beaters, hell, just grab one. Well, here we go again, moisture adding shampoo, for dry hair shampoo, for colored hair. This is really nutty and   probably very little difference from one to the next. Better grab a toothbrush while I’m in this aisle, no-no-no!!, close your eyes and just grab, feeling pretty stupid on this whole shopping thing.

  Got to get butt-wipe and some paper towels.Huh? A  single, a 4- pack, 6-pack or a 12-pack, cuddly or mega-roll, Charming or King Charles, my my, I never. Who thinks this stuff up, move on man!

I don’t eat dry cereal, unless oatmeal is considered one? Of course it is, but regardless, something is out of whack or we are out to lunch, take your pick. Here’s some facts for you to think about.

Location as irony — Battle Creek, Michigan-based Kellogg Company is in a constant battle for the #1 spot in the US cereal market with its main rival, General Mills. (General Mills’ fiscal 2010 sales totaled about $14.8 billion, compared to Kellogg’s second place $12.4 billion.) But Kellogg boasts many a familiar brand name, including Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, Frosted Flakes, Corn Pops, and Rice Krispies. And while the company fills many a cereal bowl every morning, it puffs up its bottom line with snacks and cookies (Keebler, Cheez-It, and Famous Amos), along with convenience foods such as Eggo waffles and Nutri-Grain and Bear Naked cereal bars. Its products are sold in more than 180 countries worldwide.

.I don’t have small children and hope to God no one eats that crap, it’s a pathetic waste of space and also a waste of the food reserves in my opinion, even though I ate it religiously up till a few years ago. So I better settle my jets before I get on my soapbox.

I need to cut this trip short and get me some hamburger and beer, then get the heck out of here. I am better off letting the old lady do this like usual. Are you serious! This is amazing! This must be a little slice of Heaven! Every conceivable kind of alcohol know to mankind, sure wish they had a tasting room with a big-screen TV playing the games. I know it seemed crazy back there, but when you get to thinking about it, we work hard, well some do, and we deserve to have choices! I think I’ve seen the light!

I know I can rant and  rave, make little sense in between, I know all of that. Do we need all the choices that we seem to be faced with. It’s just not groceries, it’s everything we consume. I used to tell My wife to just look at me as if I was a “cow in the field” after she had just cooked a great meal and was looking for, Hmm, maybe a compliment. What a thick headed boot I can be. I know we all have our likes and dislikes, right down to the nitty gritties of grocery shopping. When though is enough, enough? Sure am glad I found me beers!.